Recovery Leads to Discovery
Musings of a Reformed Workaholic
By: Anita Parran

For nine years non-stop, I used almost every meaningful wakeful hour working. If it wasn’t writing, editing, or proofing newsletters and reports, it was designing campaign brochures or sorting news clips from a seven-state area on the living room floor at night. Of course, traveling countrywide to make presentations and solidifying media relations was also a percentage of my time - even on weekends. Let’s not even list the other tasks for which I was responsible - including teaching a marketing course at a local university.

To be fair, working as much as I did was not altogether the fault of a demanding job. When you have a “Type AAA” personality that thrives on multi-tasking as I do, it’s pretty natural to juggle simultaneous responsibilities and love every minute of it. But, there comes a time when you need to “stop pushing yourself” so hard, as my mother still often reminds me. That happens when you start to (a) wonder if your life is as full and well rounded as it should be, and (b) if you’re pursuing activities and interests that make you happier and less stressed.

In short, I was on a workaholic binge. While there was a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, something was missing. I have since learned that I was not alone. In a survey titled “Women and the New Economy,” conducted by the consulting firm GLS, Inc., 65 percent of women said that work life has had a negative impact on their life. They reported experiencing a strain on their personal and marital life, and a prohibition from engaging in community activities. Like many survey respondents, ultimately, you have to utilize a “time out” to rediscover and reprioritize your lifestyle.

That happened when I joined a women’s book club. I met an eclectic group of work-centric women who pursued any number of interests that did not involve work. That was the first catalyst for recovery and change. That, along with the informal counseling my east coast friend Elaine offered, led to defining a distinctly separate work and personal lifestyle that is more enjoyable.

For two years, Elaine listened patiently as I self-analyzed and resolved many work-related issues that ate away my personal life. She was the voice of reason and experience having been a proverbial workaholic who justifiably became determined to run her life rather than let the job run it for her. Family and care giving issues coupled with her relationship with a significant other helped her reframe priorities. Those same issues - and more - helped me reprioritize the importance of synchronizing the personal life with the work life.

The friendship therapy worked. The time out worked. I’ve been in “recovery” for almost nine years now, and life has shifted into an easy balance when I work hard, relax hard, and enjoy other pursuits outside of work. The journey was not an easy one. For many of us (men included), our jobs help define who we are. Women in particular feel the need to overachieve in the workplace. And that’s okay - to a certain point. But it’s important to understand that the work-for-life treadmill doesn’t allow for the other equally important joys of life that make us whole.